The TEAM returns to NEW YORK about 4,000 MILES AWAY but that's at least a 3 HOUR FLIGHT so. Has broken Captain America shield and everythink, fanboys will love.
Gave him nightmare for use in many trailer. Nyet, I see that allowing him to succeed vill ultimately cause destruction for moose and squirrel, so I leave alone. You have used vague powers to make metal man die, yes? Suddenly, AARON TAYLOR-JOHNSON and ELIZABETH OLSEN sneak up behind him and ELIZABETH uses her powers of MIND CONTROL HOLY FUCK WHEDON THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE. ROBERT finds LOKI'S MIND-CONTROL SCEPTRE, pulsating with MIND CONTROL POWER that will surely be put to EXCELLENT DRAMATIC USE. Yes, he's carrying Jeremy Renner back to the ship because he got injured. Have we figured out a justification for the nearly invincible Norse god not to be doing this instead of me? ROBERT shoots a MISSILE at the fortress that fails to penetrate its FORCEFIELD, but then he just SHOOTS THE FORCEFIELD because HYDRA never got around to watching RETURN OF THE JEDI.Īlright guys, I'm inside the fortress. Of course, if you want to know why we're even assaulting this fortress, you should watch 41 hours of Agents of SHIELD to see the 65 seconds at the end of Season 2, Episode 19 where Cobie Smulders holy shit this bubble is going to burst really soon, isn't it? Is Phase 2 the Danny DeVito to Phase 1's Schwarzenegger?ĮNTIRE PHASE 2 CAN BE IGNORED, NEXT MOVIE ALL ABOUT SMALL BUG MAN AND NOBODY CARE! Okay, but Winter Soldier is totally important, it established that HYDRA has been infiltrating SHIELD for half a century! Of course, it's been completely dismantled now and this is the very last base that we're about to destroy. Verily, Thor 2 is similarly without merit or consequence!Īnd Guardians took place in outer space, so it doesn't affect what's going on either. This completely invalidates everything that happened in Iron Man 3, so I guess everyone can just skip that one. Oh look, I'm back with my catalogue of specialized suits.
We open on an UNSKIPPABLE CUTSCENE as CHRIS HEMSWORTH, ROBERT DOWNEY, JR., CHRIS EVANS, GREEN MARK RUFFALO, SCARLETT JOHANSSON, and JEREMY RENNER storm a HYDRA base and straight up MURDER tons of regular, non-superpowered people in the world's LEAST-FAIR FIGHT.
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